How to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman While Single: 3 Key Virtues
Learn 3 key virtues that every single woman or single mom can embrace to understand how to be a Proverbs 31 woman while single and grow in godly character.
Can a Proverbs 31 Woman Be Single?
Yes!
When we read Proverbs 31, we see 21 verses about a virtuous wife.
This might cause us to think that Proverbs 31 is only for women who are already married or have recently married.
In either case, at first glance, we don’t look at it as a passage for single women.
The great news is that, although in this passage King Lemuel’s mother was given wise words to his son about the kind of wife he should seek and choose, this passage can also be used for single and married women, and it’s not a list of to-dos. It’s a guide for virtues.
The virtuous wife in Proverbs 31 was not just a Proverbs 31 woman for the purpose of being married.
This was her character. This tells us a woman can have these virtuous qualities while single and not have to wait until marriage.
Her character in this passage is not just a woman who is going through the motions to perform duties in the role of a wife and mother.
Verses 1-9 let us know that these virtues, qualities, and habits that exemplify excellence can be embraced before marriage, or King Lemuel’s mother would not have told him to seek this type of woman for a wife.
As we read and study Proverbs 31, we can learn many principles and virtues a woman can develop while single.
3 Key Virtues to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman While Single
Virtues are qualities that influence our actions and behavior. We will identify the three virtues to embrace and grow into a Proverbs 31 woman while single.
- God-fearing
- Wise
- Compassionate
Virtue 1 – God-fearing
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30
She Feared the Lord
You can be a Proverbs 31 woman while single by fearing the Lord.
Fearing the Lord is a virtue that marks the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7; 9:10).
It’s showing our love, honor, respect, and admiration for who God is, and because we love Him, we obey Him.
To fear the Lord is to acknowledge Him in every area of our lives, and recognize His presence and His awareness of our every thought, motive, and action.
Fearing the Lord is also being aware that He blesses us for our obedience and disciplines those He loves for disobedience, so that we understand that we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7).
Growing in the Lord
When you fear the Lord, you don’t want to hurt Him. You want Him to be pleased with you (2 Corinthians 5:6-10). You want to nurture and grow your relationship with Him, not hinder it.
Not because you’re trying to earn salvation; we could never do that (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Nor because you think you could lose your salvation; what Christ did for us is permanent and complete (Colossians 2:10).
If you truly belong to Him, nothing can separate you from His love (Romans 8:31-39).
In verse 30, we also see the contrast of charm and beauty versus fearing the Lord. Although there is a contrast given, this passage does not tell us to neglect our physical appearance.
It tells us that charm and beauty can appear significantly praiseworthy and cause us to consume most of our time and attention without much thought to our spiritual condition, but both charm and beauty change and are fleeting.
It’s a woman who devotes her time, energy, attention, and herself to her relationship with God, who, above all else, is to be praised.
The Proverbs 31 woman can only do what she does because she fears the Lord.
Virtue 2 – Wise
“She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.” Proverbs 31:16
“She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.” Proverbs 31:18
“She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.” Proverbs 31:24
“She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26
She Was Wise
You can be a Proverbs 31 woman while single by being wise.
Being wise is more than just having knowledge. To be wise is to make wise decisions and understand and apply what you know in the appropriate situations.
The Proverbs 31 woman applies her knowledge by wisely using what she has at home and trading it for food and items she and her household do not have (v. 14). She has an enterprising quality about her that makes her resourceful!
Making Wise Decisions
We also see that she considers matters before making decisions and purchases (v. 16).
In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to act and make general decisions impulsively, especially when marketing is done well, and there is a “buy now” mentality.
Some advertisements have valid claims, but many lure us to make impulsive, emotional choices without time to consider before we spend or make a commitment.
In verse 18, the Proverbs 31 woman wisely and diligently continues to work and does so with purposeful intent to care for her household.
As she cares for her household, she shows resilience, strength, and praiseworthy characteristics that are sacrificial, and sets an example, while she is attentive to her family.
Skillfully Wise
She wisely, skillfully, and creatively uses her talents as a businesswoman to prepare to supply for her home and others where she sees a need and makes a profit (v. 24).
Think of your gifts and talents. What has presented itself to you as a problem that you have the gift or talent to solve, that, in turn, could become a business venture or financially beneficial?
Wise in Speech
As we read verse 26, we see that not only is the Proverbs 31 woman strong, wise, and skillful in her thoughts and actions, but she is also wise with her speech.
We also read that she opens her mouth with wisdom and her tongue is the law of kindness.
This means that she wisely and carefully selects her words and tone when she speaks to her family and others.
Our words can build others up and tear them down. Words spoken in haste or without much thought can harm others and ourselves.
The Proverbs 31 woman chooses what and how she will speak the words that come from her mouth, and we can pray and ask God to help us do the same.
Virtue 3 – Compassionate
“The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12
“She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20
“She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
She Was Compassionate
You can be a Proverbs 31 woman while single by being compassionate.
The Proverbs 31 woman cares for others and starts with her own household.
Sometimes, because of familiarity, it can be easy to take those closest to us for granted and be less compassionate, patient, or kind.
Even though you are single, you can develop and grow the compassion that is already in you.
Just like verses 11-12, you can express compassion by being supportive, trustworthy, and faithful to do good and not evil to others all the days of your life.
When we do not have compassion or have less than we should, we and others lack and do not gain, and we are less trustworthy to others.
To be compassionate is to help others and be concerned for those in need.
Compassion is fundamental in all that we do (1 Corinthians 13:13).
Looking at verse 20, we see that the Proverbs 31 woman is filled with compassion and joyfully, generously, and wisely seeks the opportunity to help, and when it presents itself, she gives to others.
In verse 27, we read of her productivity, attentiveness, diligence, and preparedness as she watches over her household and avoids laziness.
With the three virtues studied, we can know without a doubt that God gives this kind of wisdom, and we can ask Him for wisdom to be a Proverbs 31 woman while we’re single.
Can You Be a Proverbs 31 Woman as a Single Mom?
Yes, you can!
The Proverbs 31 woman is virtuous. A woman can be virtuous whether single, single with children, married, or married with children.
Virtue depends not on your marital or parental status, but on your relationship with God.
Just as the Proverbs 31 wife set an example for her children, the Proverbs 31 single mom can do so as well.
A Prayer For You
Father, we thank you for your word. It is truly a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path (Psalm 119:105).
Thank you for the virtues shown in Proverbs 31. We know that these virtues teach us how to be a Proverbs 31 woman while single, a single mom, married, or married with children.
We are grateful that when we ask you to help us grow closer to you through studying your word, prayer, and applying what we’ve learned in the Scriptures, we are growing and developing these virtues, which are Christlike characteristics.
Teach us to devote ourselves to you. Help us to value and cherish what you love.
Thank you for teaching us how to love you and others as Proverbs 31 women. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
